Someone I Once Knew
by CheyWolfe
Summary: Seimei has a way of destroying people from the inside out, and after all is over and done with, Soubi is left with more than just memories. Set five years after the canon storyline.
1. Chapter 1

Nothing had ever felt as real as the minute Soubi stood on the rooftop.

Never before had he felt as human as when he stood at the edge of the pavement, leaning over the railing, watching. For the first time, he felt human, and he felt _alive_. Those people that moved down there, so far below, patients in the hospital courtyard, doctors going into work, commoners on the street—he was the same as them. He was human, just like them. And yet, he wasn't. He was something different, something horrible. Things may have been over and done with for the most part, but _he_ was still here, still alive, still around, still the same being he'd always been. All the other evil had been exterminated—Akame was dead, Seimei was set for execution, all the others who'd worked with them were captured, with the mere exclusion of Soubi himself.

The railing was cold and metal beneath his hands, his skin turning white as he gripped it as if he were holding onto it for dear life, and perhaps he was. The city below remained ever-constant, still moving despite the tyranny and turmoil that had gone on and was still going on. Why? Even though the fight was still occurring, and time seemed to have stopped the moment Seimei was captured, the sun still rose and people still went about their daily business. None of them knew, Soubi realized as he stared down at them from fifteen floors above. None of them knew of the evil that had threatened to tear both their world and the secretive world of Fighters and Sacrifices apart. They were all terrible, oblivious monsters. Selfish bastards.

Could he do it? Would he die? He wasn't supposed to be out here—it was only a day after being woken up from whatever kind of medically induced coma he'd been put in. Would he die? Nothing had quite been able to kill him yet. Seimei hadn't given him permission to die. He hadn't been allowed to—was that the reason he'd survived for so long? He'd been wanting to die for years now, ever since being reclaimed from Ritsuka the first time five—no, four. Soubi often lost track of time.—years ago. He had never had the courage to actually die. Such a pathetic man he was, not even able to rid the world of his dirtied soul and make everyone else happy.

Selfish man, always wanting and wanting more and more, wanting love from those around him, when he knew better than anyone else that he didn't deserve anyone's love, especially that of pure, innocent Ritsuka's.

He wasn't supposed to be up here. That was much was obvious from the multiple warning signs and locked doors, but he'd come up here anyways. Rules didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was gravity, and if it'd be able to thoroughly kill him. He, Agatsuma Soubi, the blank Fighter who'd been claimed by both Beloved and Loveless and had withstood all pain and the breaking of his soul, could easily be killed by falling off of this building. Easily. Because he was human. He was nothing greater, and nothing less. He was human, and gravity could kill him within seconds.

Would there be pain? Would he hit the concrete and feel it? Would he die in a world of pain, the same thing he'd felt greater than anything else all his life? Everything would be over. There would be no more pain, and no despair. He wouldn't feel the tugging of the name at his neck, and he'd no longer feel such breaking, terrifying pain when he looked at Seimei and met his cold, cruel eyes that stared right back at him and told him how much he _fucking hated him. _Things would be over and done with.

He was a coward, though. He could never do such a thing. He wouldn't be able to. He was too afraid of the pain, and if it didn't succeed. And maybe there truly was something to live for, anyways. After all…

"Soubi!"

Soubi turned, hearing Ritsuka's yell from behind him. A smile crept onto his face, as perfect as ever. Perfect. He had to be perfect. That way Ritsuka would want to keep him, and not throw him away like Seimei had. Ritsuka continued towards him. He was seventeen now, and nearly as tall as Soubi, having grown up a lot over the years. Not much had changed about Ritsuka other than his physical appearance, and Soubi couldn't help but to be happy Ritsuka was still the kind boy he'd always been.

But he didn't deserve him, not after everything that had happened.

"You're not supposed to be up here, Soubi. Let's go back. It's restricted access up here."

And Soubi couldn't help but to hear that little hidden shake in his voice, an obvious sign of fear that he couldn't completely conceal from Soubi. It was that that told Soubi he knew, and he had known exactly what was running through Soubi's head as he stood on the rooftop, looking down and holding onto the railing. He knew, and he feared it, and yet, Soubi wouldn't be able to stop it. He was already too far gone.

…

_"Soubi, do you want to know something?"_

_ Soubi didn't answer._

_ "Do you know why I keep you alive?"_

_ Still no answer. Seimei made a sound of irritation, something that was a cross between a growl and a hiss. _

_ "It's a punishment, Soubi. I have no use for you anymore. I have a better Fighter. I would lose nothing but a source of entertainment if I chose to let you die. This, though…"_

_ He smiled._

_ "Is your punishment. You've changed, Soubi. You're no longer the obedient dog that I once had. You want to die, don't you? Nothing matters to you. You won't die, though. I won't allow you. You will stay alive and suffer, and I will watch."_

_ And with that, Seimei spared him one last smiling glance and returned to his book as if nothing had just happened. Soubi, on the other hand, wouldn't be able to forget the conversation. It would stick in his mind for months to come. _

…

Beloved and Loveless. Two names, two Sacrifices, each contradicting one and other. The name written on Soubi's neck was Beloved. Seven letters that had bound him to a ruthless and cruel master. Those letters had give him life, had made him reborn like a butterfly from a chrysalis, and those letters were killing him, as well. Slowly, of course, from the inside out. First they would tear apart his heart, then his body, and finally, his mind, until there was nothing left of him remaining. Loveless was the name he'd been given, a privilege he'd been granted, a blessing by a kind god. It gave him pure life, and healed him. OWEVER,

It was something kind, something warm and affectionate, something Soubi loved. But it wasn't right.

Soubi had two names. Beloved and Loveless. He was bound to Seimei by Beloved, and he could still feel Seimei, their bond tight and bright still, even after everything. It couldn't be severed, no matter how much Soubi wanted to be Loveless, not unless the name on his neck somehow disappeared. He couldn't have two names. He was only supposed to have one master. Beloved and Loveless. Two names. He was the Fighter for Loveless, as well as the Fighter for Beloved. A person's name was their destiny. Having two names just wasn't possible.

A name was everything to Soubi—Ownership, love, a bond, everything. Without a name, he would be nothing and would have no purpose. The letters were carved deep into his neck, burning every time even the thought of Seimei's execution even so much as crossed his mind. Seimei was his master. Seimei was his god. He couldn't let Seimei die. But Ritsuka was his master, too, and Soubi loved Ritsuka. Two names, two masters. It just wasn't possible. He'd been taught for years to love and obey one person, and one person only. No one else. Only the person who'd given him his name, and no one else. It was impossible to have two names.

Seimei and Ritsuka, two polar opposites. He had a bond with both of them, and that alone was despicable and unheard of. He was only supposed to be loyal to one of them, and yet, he still loved them both. With Ritsuka, it was something pure, something good, _normal_ love. With Seimei, it was attachment, the Fighter-Sacrifice bond that Soubi shared with him. Seimei treated him exactly how he needed to be treated—with disgust and violence. He beat Soubi, reminding him who he belonged to and digging in the fact that Soubi was nothing more than a dog to him and would never be worth more to anyone in their sane mind. Soubi _needed_ Seimei. He needed his presence. He needed the way Soubi treated him. He needed him to feel complete. Otherwise, there was an emptiness that burned, the center of the pain directly at Soubi's neck.

Yet, he hated Seimei. He hated him for everything he'd done, and hated him for the exact same reasons that he needed him. And above all, Soubi hated him for keeping him alive, when he knew just as well as Soubi himself how much his Fighter wanted to die. He'd destroyed Soubi, leaving Ritsuka to pick up the pieces.

He needed Ritsuka, too, even more than he needed Seimei. Ritsuka was the foil to everything Seimei was. He healed Soubi, gave him new life after Seimei destroyed him. He _cared_, and _loved_, and treated Soubi as if he were human. He held Soubi and touched him, something Seimei would never do. Even if he wasn't completely human, Ritsuka still treated him like one, never even punishing him when Soubi did something wrong, no matter how much he asked to be hurt and abused. Never had Ritsuka even raised a hand to him, even if Soubi had urged him to.

Beloved and Loveless. He couldn't be both. He could never be both. It just wasn't possible. People only had one name. One destiny. Not two.

…

When Ritsuka found him, he screamed in horror, backing away from the bloodied knife that lay at his feet, clearly realizing that the strange thin, almost translucent substance on the floor was Soubi's own shredded skin. He continued to scream, breathing hard, his voice high, despite his age of seventeen. Soubi watched, his eyesight getting blurry, his mind beginning to grow haze from the large blood loss he was suffering. There was blood all over his hands and the floor, staining his own skin, as well as the linoleum tile, and Ritsuka was staring at it, slowly backing away. When he finally stumbled back against the kitchen counter, Soubi only smiled and said, "I did it, Ritsuka. I did it."

…

_Medical report: Septimal Moon council private hospital_

_Patient's name: Agatsuma Soubi_

_Examiner's name: Doctor Sagan Nagisa (overseer: Doctor Minami Ritsu) _

_Date: September 8__th__, 2012_

_Condition: (written by examiner) Patient was found in the dorm room of student Aoyagi Ritsuka, reported to have been in the kitchen, unable to stand and quickly losing blood. The source of the blood was reported to be from his neck, and Aoyagi said there was a knife near the patient that clearly had his own blood and remnants of his skin on it. The patient lost too much blood and passed out shortly after._

_Diagnoses: It's clear that the patient cut all the skin off of his neck. It's unclear whether this was a suicide attempt or not. It's notable that the patient is a blank Fighter and had the name "Beloved" on his neck. _

_Treatment: The deep cuts have been treated and must be treated more regularly. The patient must be kept under close watch. The overseer has recommended keeping the patient sedated for now. _

_Notes: _

_ Due to my history with the patient, my own opinion is biased, and I will let that be known. Soubi-kun is not completely in his right mind, and that much is obvious from what he did today. Soubi-kun took a knife and tried to cut the scar off of his neck, as if he believes that will sever the bond between he and Aoyagi Seimei. He's succeeded, as he had to have graft skin to replace the skin that he cut off. However, Soubi-kun doesn't realize that this hasn't destroyed his bond. It was a useless attempt, whether it was at cutting off his bond with Aoyagi or at suicide. He's alive, at least, and if he'd been left alone much longer, he wouldn't have made it, so it was lucky that Aoyagi Ritsuka found him when he did. _

_ Soubi-kun is a being with a long history of pain and suffering. Things have broken within him, making his gears unable to completely turn. Aoyagi Seimei has a particular fondness for psychological pain. Soubi-kun is suffering the effects of being beaten for no reason at all and destroyed and isolated from others for extended periods of time. It's best for him to be around others more and to be exposed to social situations, as for over a year, Aoyagi Seimei was the only thing Soubi saw. He broke Soubi and is still breaking him from the inside out. Soubi-kun, as much as I hate to say it, probably needs a great deal of psychological help. _

_ I will attempt to give him the help myself, though I doubt that he'll want it. Aoyagi Ritsuka will also help him a great deal. Regardless, it's best that Soubi-kun is at least kept in the psychiatric ward for a while. _

_-Doctor Minami Ritsu_

_ I knew he wasn't sane. This guy is far, far gone, but Ritsu isn't willing to listen to me when I tell him that. Stubborn bastard! Agatsuma will only do worse, both to himself and to others._

_-Doctor Sagan Nagisa _

…

_To: Sagan Nagisa_

_From: Minami Ritsu_

_Date: 9/8/12_

_Message:_

_Nagisa! Take that note out of the file. Your personal opinion doesn't matter in the medical field. You should already know that. You're wrong, anyways._

…

_To: Minami Ritsu_

_From: Sagan Nagisa_

_Date: 9/8/12_

_Message:_

_I won't! You put your own opinion in there too! So why shouldn't I?! God, you can be so annoying for a man who can't even see! _

…

_To: Minami Ritsu_

_From: Sagan Nagisa_

_Date: 9/8/12_

_Message:_

_And I'm not wrong. That was my professional medical opinion. You may be a psychologist and I may not be, but I can see it better than you. You'll see. And when you do, it'll be too late. You're relying too much on yourself and what you taught him. You really have no idea what he's capable of, even though all of us saw it. He and Seimei nearly destroyed us. You really think he won't try something insane like he did today?_

…

_To: Sagan Nagisa_

_From: Minami Ritsu_

_Date: 9/8/12_

_Message:_

_I'm not wrong, either. I taught Soubi-kun better than that. Today wasn't a suicide attempt. He knows not to do something as stupid as that. He can't go against what I've taught him. He won't disobey his master, and I doubt Ritsuka would allow him to die._

…

The first thing Soubi saw when he opened his eyes was the blood. It clouded his vision, making him see red and only red, and the _stench_ of it filling his nose. It cleared quickly, though, and the next thing that Soubi saw was Ritsuka's smiling face right in front of him. The blood hadn't gone, though, and it was smeared on Ritsuka's face, marking his porcelain white skin, tearing his perfect innocence. It was just a small streak of it, right across Ritsuka's face, looking as if it had been there a while so that it didn't drip, but not long enough that it wasn't dried. A simple mark on him, and that simple mark filled Soubi with such terrible, bitter **anger**.

He reached out a hand, resting it on Ritsuka's close face, his thumb moving gently across his cheek, trying to wipe off the blood but only smearing it more on his skin. No… It had to come off. Ritsuka was pure. He couldn't be hurt. No one could dirty him like this. He did it again, still as gently, and Ritsuka smiled, as if he didn't realize what Soubi was doing and thought it was a simple loving caress and nothing more, like he didn't know that someone had dirtied him in such a way. Ritsuka… What had happened? The scent of blood had mostly cleared and was replaced by the stink of antiseptic, a smell that told Soubi he was in the hospital. That much was painfully obvious.

"Hello, Soubi," Ritsuka moved forward, smiling more as he embraced Soubi, wrapping his arms around Soubi's neck and holding him close. Soubi abandoned his previous task, holding Ritsuka and clinging to him. He remembered. He remembered well, what he'd done. And he didn't regret it. He didn't regret it one bit. He remembered the way he'd cut off his own flesh, watching the layers fall to the ground with such sick amusement and gleaming blue eyes. He remembered the pain of it, and feeling of the cold blade cutting beneath his skin, moving inside of him. It'd been an absolutely wonderful pain, a punishment for having two names cast upon him. It had been exhilarating.

But it hadn't worked. Like everyone else, even he himself didn't know what his exact intent had been with what he'd done. He wanted to die, and perhaps part of him had been hoping for that when he'd first picked up the knife. Maybe he'd just wanted the name off of him so that Seimei would no longer have a hold over him. He might've also just wanted to feel the pain again. He didn't know. He didn't care. Whatever the reason, it hadn't worked. He was still alive, had only felt the pain for a short amount of time, and the bond with Seimei was still there. He could feel it, still strong, still pulling, still _controlling him. _The scar might've been off of his neck, but the bond remained. Seimei was going to be killed and such a thought still made Soubi so god dammed _infuriated_. That was his Sacrifice. He hated and loved him and everything in-between, but he couldn't let him die. He still needed and craved Seimei's presence. Fighters and Sacrifices weren't supposed to be apart, and Seimei's presence cured that itch he felt within.

Ritsuka held him for a long time before pulling away, smiling, still. The sides of his mouth twitched, giving himself away with his shaky smile. Ritsuka was afraid, terrified. Of what? Soubi? What he'd done? Something else? Soubi could see his sweet face again, and now there was even more blood, the crimson smeared all across his face, both cheeks now, as well as across his nose and lips and… and…

It was from him. His hands. Soubi looked down, seeing the blood all over them, his skin stained by it, the thick, rusty smelling liquid running between every crevice and pore of his hands, having no source as it dripped down onto the thin hospital blankets. Blood. He raised his head, not looking at Ritsuka, glancing around the room to see bloodied handprints and smears on the wall, impossible to ignore and overwhelming to Soubi's current state of mind. There was blood everywhere, and yet no one was doing a thing about it. No one seemed to take notice, even though it was obvious and unable to be ignored. No one else seemed to see it.

"How are you feeling, Soubi?" Ritsuka was speaking softly to him, as if he was afraid he'd break Soubi by speaking too loud. There was no anger neither on his face nor in his voice. Nothing. Just fear. He was trying to hide it, how afraid he was, but Soubi saw if just as clearly as he saw the blood. He was terrified, and Soubi didn't know what of, but he knew he was the cause of it. Had he hurt Ritsuka with this, with putting himself in the hospital? Was Ritsuka not scared _of _him, but _for_ him? It was just another example of Ritsuka's overly kind personality. Why didn't he punish him? Why didn't he hurt him? He could do so much right now. Soubi was vulnerable. Ritsuka could hit him or slap him or do anything he wanted, really. Anything. And yet he didn't. He let things like this go unpunished.

"Ah…" It was hard to think with this much blood around. He couldn't feel it, but he could see it. It was all over everything, especially his hands, but he couldn't feel it. His hands felt as dry as ever, and when he reached out of softly touch Ritsuka's face again, he still felt nothing but the man's smooth skin beneath his thumb. No one else had said anything about it, and the doctors Soubi could see out of the glass wall of his room did nothing about the blood.

It wasn't there. It wasn't real.

He smiled. Perfect. He had to be perfect. For Ritsuka. Ritsuka could write his name on him now! He could be Ritsuka's! Wasn't Ritsuka happy?! His name, his name! Wouldn't he mark Soubi now? He could be the perfect Fighter for Ritsuka, if he'd be able to be bonded with him. His bond could overtake Seimei's. Seimei's… It would break soon, wouldn't it?! It had to! There was no name left—he'd cut it right off!

"Soubi…" Ritsuka was staring at him, his violet eyes wide in fear. What was it? His smile? Soubi had given him the exact same smile when Ritsuka had found him with the knife. Was that it? He'd seemed so scared that day—why? Soubi couldn't understand why Ritsuka was afraid for him. He would understand if Ritsuka was afraid _of _him, but not for him. He was an animal, anyways, or at least, barely human. Ritsuka should be punishing him, not worrying about him. After all, he'd done something that Ritsuka didn't like. Seimei would've probably hit him right here in the hospital for something like this, if not done something worse.

"I'm fine, Ritsuka," Smile. He kept on smiling. Everything was alright. He'd let Ritsuka think that. Because everything _should_ be okay. Seimei was captured. Soubi was back with Ritsuka. Everything should be fine and good and nothing should be wrong.

The fear cleared from Ritsuka's face and the other man sat on the bed with him, the blood Soubi was seeing now on the teen's hands, too. He stared at Ritsuka, his own blue eyes wide as he looked at Ritsuka and all the god dammed blood on his face. Fa…ke… It was fake, wasn't it? All in his head. He was just seeing it. It would go away soon. That was all. That was all. That was all.

"Good. Can I lay with you? It's been a long time since I've been able to lay in the same bed as you," Ritsuka moved his hand across the bed, towards Soubi's own hand, leaving smears of blood across the bedspread. Soubi nodded, telling him a happy 'yes, of course.', covering up his own distress, his own inner turmoil. And soon, Ritsuka was curled up with him, nearly as tall as Soubi, the bed sheets horrifyingly bloody between them as Ritsuka allowed Soubi to lay his head on his chest and close his eyes, leaving him only with the heavy scent of blood in his nose, and a need to be punished for what he'd done.

…

_Medical report: Septimal Moon council private hospital_

_Patient's name: Agatsuma Soubi_

_Examiner's name: Doctor Minami Ritsu (accompanying: Doctor Sagan Nagisa) _

_Date: September 15__th__, 2012_

_Condition: (written by examiner) Soubi-kun was found by Doctor Sagan in his hospital room. He was sitting in the corner, holding his head and complaining about the blood that was on everything._

_Diagnoses: Soubi-kun is delusional and having hallucinations. It's unclear the cause of them, but he claims he's been seeing blood everywhere since yesterday, when he was awakened from his sedated sleep. _

_Treatment: I'll be administering psychiatric help to him, though unless the delusions get worse, I don't believe chemical/drug treatment will be necessary. _

_Notes: _

_ Perhaps Soubi-kun will heal over more if he's able to see Aoyagi Ritsuka more. I have personally spoken with Aoyagi about the things that are going on with Soubi-kun, and he claims that he'll be able to take care of him and refuses to even raise a violent hand to Soubi-kun, despite whether or not he deserves it. I'm not sure if this will help or harm Soubi-kun, as he was brought up with that sort of treatment and raised to expect and need punishment when making a mistake. However I may disagree with Aoyagi Ritsuka's refusal to punish Soubi even with reason, I do believe that Aoyagi truly does care and love Soubi-kun, and will do his best to take care of him. I think it'd be in his best interests to stay with Aoyagi for a bit of time, rather than in the hospital. After all, Soubi-kun is a boy who hates hospitals and everything of the sort._

_-Doctor Minami Ritsu_

_ [REDACTED]_

_-Doctor Sagan Nagisa_

…

* * *

**Update will be Friday, and then the last chapter will be uploaded on Sunday!**

**Review?**

**-CheyWolfe**


	2. Chapter 2

…

To: Sagan Nagisa

From: Minami Ritsu

Date: 9/15/12

Message:

Remove your comment.

…

To: Minami Ritsu

From: Sagan Nagisa

Date: 9/15/12

Message:

No. You're not the only person who gets to throw in their opinion! You're an idiot for not listening to me in the first place! Dumb, dumb, dumb!

…

To: Sagan Nagisa

From: Minami Ritsu

Date: 9/15/12

Message:

I don't want to hear your opinions. They're wrong. Besides, I told you to stay off of this case and yet you **insisted** on helping me examine Soubi-kun. You're unneeded. I can handle this myself, and I do not need any of your help, and I never have, so stay **out and away**. Redact your comment from the file.

…

To: Minami Ritsu

From: Sagan Nagisa

Date: 9/15/12

Message:

You're letting your personal thoughts and desires take over you. You're not thinking professionally—you're just doing what you think is right and what you want, just like always. That boy is dangerous, Ritsu. Anyone else would have him committed, on a 24-hour suicide watch, and drugged up. You _saw_ what he's capable of before we captured Seimei. And yet, you refuse to believe he'll do anything beyond what's he's already done. Stop letting your thoughts and wants get in the way of your professional opinion.

…

To: Saotome Nana

From: Minami Ritsu

Date: 9/15/12

Message:

Take Nagisa's comment out of Soubi-kun's file.

…

Ritsuka's dorm room wasn't hard at all to find. Soubi still knew the layout of the entire school by heart, and he could walk the hallways in the dead of night and still know exactly where he was going. He wandered down the hallways, one hand on the wall, stumbling as he smeared the unseen-by-others blood on the stark white school walls. The darkness was an evil place, one that was filled with terrible things that simply lurked and waited to prey on the innocent and not-so-innocent. Soubi couldn't see in the darkness, and what lay just a few feet down the hallway was terrifyingly unknown to him. He continued on, a turn here, another there, a door he had to go through to get to the teachers' apartments, and then he began counting the numbers upon the doors for Ritsuka's.

Two AM. The boy would be asleep. He ran his fingers over each number-plate on the doors, each of them marred by spots of blood, until he found the one and only door without even a speck of blood on it. This one. The number read correctly, too. Ritsuka had been granted the privilege of an apartment rather than a dorm when he'd begun to attend Seven Voices in order to 'become a better Sacrifice'. The key fit in the lock and turned with ease, a small click being heard as he unlocked the door and pushed it open, checking behind him again before entering. Then and only then did he allow himself to lean against the door and relax, having run all the way here in order to escape.

He didn't allow himself such for long, and he soon regained his composure and tiptoed into the bedroom, bumping into the bed and climbing onto it, able to see a curled up lump under the covers in the moonlight that bathed the room from the open windows. He found the lump's head, shaking the Ritsuka's shoulder frantically.

Ritsuka made a noise in his sleep, rolling over to face Soubi kneeling on the bed, though not opening his eyes. Soubi continued to shake him, violently now, almost . He had to wake up. He had to. Soubi had to make sure he was alright and… and he needed him right now, more than he'd ever needed him before. He needed his voice, his comfort, his presence. He just needed Ritsuka. He was desperate.

"Ritsuka! Ritsuka!" Soubi had found his voice, and it was clearly filled with panic as he still shook Ritsuka, though the man had opened his violet eyes wide and was simply staring up at Soubi in such shock. All it took was a gentle hand laid on his arm to stop Soubi's shaking and get him to back off a bit. Soubi let go of Ritsuka, letting him fall back against the bed. Good. Ritsuka was okay. He was fine. Seimei hadn't hurt him. No one had hurt him. He was okay. Soubi breathed hard, repeating in his head over and over that Ritsuka was alright, trying to believe it. For some reason, he couldn't. There had to be something wrong. There had to be.

"What happened, Soubi?" Ritsuka sat up, rubbing his eyes and running his fingers through his shoulder-length hair, sighing as he looked at Soubi. Shaking, trembling, terrified Soubi. How pathetic, to be scared into almost completely getting away from Seven Voices because of such a thing. He'd simply come to Ritsuka instead, though, searching for comfort, abuse, _anything_. He just needed to be near him and needed to get that image out of his mind. Ritsuka could help him, couldn't he? Ritsuka would… He had to. Otherwise Soubi would tear himself to shreds.

"I saw him," He breathed, trying to catch his breath. "He was there. I saw him. I saw Seimei." He'd been there, and Soubi had woken with a start to see him right _there_, watching, smiling, his shadowy features all Soubi could make out. He'd seen him there, and then right before Soubi's eyes, he suddenly _wasn't _there, and Soubi was left in a flurry and seeing more blood than ever. It wouldn't go away. It never went away, not after two weeks since waking up to it.

Ritsuka stared at him for a moment. That was all he did—just stared. Soubi was in too much of a panic to determine whether or not it was in surprise or anger or disbelief, and he honestly didn't care right now. Seimei. He'd seen Seimei. He was right there, in his room, watching Soubi with such terribly amused eyes, and a smile Soubi had come to fear over the years. He watched Ritsuka's face, just as closely as Seimei had watched him, waiting for him to say something, anything at all. Just his voice would make things better. It would calm him down at the very least. Soubi just really couldn't handle being _alone_ right now.

Ritsuka moved towards him, leaning forward to take Soubi into his arms, a seventeen year old holding a twenty-five year old like a child, pulling him against his chest and petting his head in long, slow strokes. There was blood on the bedspread, blood on the window, all of it gleaming with the moonlight that seeped in, all of it _Seimei's _blood, and Ritsuka's blood, and someone had hurt them and Soubi had to kill them and…

"It's alright, Soubi. It was just a dream," Ritsuka's voice was right in his ear, a lot deeper than his feminine high-pitched twelve year old self's voice. So much had changed… Ritsuka had really fully grown up. "It's alright. He's still in a place he can't escape. He's still going to be executed. He's not here, Soubi. He's not here."

Executed. Seimei was going to be murdered. Is that what Soubi wanted? Part of him looked forward to such a thing and couldn't _wait _for the day to come. But part of him hated the thought of Seimei dying. He knew it would leave him empty and feeling the lost connection with him, like he'd lost something that he'd absolutely needed. That was how he'd felt when Seimei had 'died' the first time, even if that time had been a lie. This time it'd be worse. Soubi had come to **need** Seimei's punishments and his treatment of him. If he wasn't treated like that, Soubi didn't know what to do with himself. He couldn't act like a person—he really didn't know _how_ to have his own thoughts anymore. That much had been beaten out of him, his training brutally being reinforced, and Seimei making sure that Soubi would _need_ him and be unable to function without him.

"I know," Soubi breathed, holding the back of Ritsuka's shirt in his hands, clutching onto him for dear life. He'd seen him. He'd seen Seimei. He'd seen him right there, standing in front of him, watching, watching, smiling at him. Soubi had frozen in absolute fear, eyes wide open and unblinking until Seimei's shadow disappeared right before his eyes. He held onto Ritsuka, wanting to him to make everything better, to make him happy, to comfort him. "I know, Ritsuka. I saw him. I know he was there. I saw him."

Ritsuka sighed, brushing a hand through Soubi's hair, petting his head slowly, something that always seemed to help Soubi. It was obvious he didn't believe Soubi, clear that he didn't think Seimei was out and free. He didn't share Ritsuka's distress. A dream, he'd said. A simple nightmare, a night terror Soubi had had. It wasn't an uncommon thing for him to have bad dreams, but never had one actually terrified Soubi to this extent. This hadn't been a dream. He'd been wide awake when he'd seen Seimei. It hadn't been a dream

"Shh," Ritsuka pulled Soubi a bit closer, petting him harder now, in a way that made Soubi almost want to relax. He couldn't. Seimei would come back. "It's alright, Soubi. You're here now with me. It's alright. We're both safe. See? No one can hurt us."

And Soubi did allow himself a sigh of relief. He let himself relax in Ritsuka's arms, resting his head on his shoulder, the two of them sitting in silence for a long moment before Soubi spoke up again, his voice even much calmer now. "I'm sorry," He apologized, wanting to make it up to Ritsuka. Just a dream, just a dream. That had been all. Nothing more. Seimei wasn't free. He was still in Septimal Moons hands. He couldn't hurt anyone anymore. He wouldn't touch Ritsuka or Soubi. He wasn't going to claim Soubi again and sweep him away from the Sacrifice that he loved. He didn't want that. He didn't. He didn't…!

Ritsuka pulled away from the tight embrace, smiling at Soubi, his arms still loosely around his bandaged neck. "It's no problem. I'm glad you came to me, and since you're here already, I don't think there's any problem with you staying the night. You're with me and you won't…" Ritsuka trailed off, but Soubi knew what he'd been about to say. You won't try to kill yourself again. Would he try something similar if he was left alone without surveillance again? The name was off of him, but Soubi honestly didn't know the answer to that question. Was he suicidal? He wanted to die, but he was a pathetic man who was too afraid to try. But he felt like that fear could be easily overcame. That day when he'd stood on the rooftop—he'd felt so _alive_ and fearless, then. Like he would've thrown himself off the edge if Ritsuka hadn't come up to the rooftop in search of him. Was it possible for him to die? He hadn't been given permission to. He didn't even know if that was what he wanted.

Soubi smiled back, though. Alright. Everything was alright. He was just fine, and he would act that way for Ritsuka, because that was what Ritsuka wanted and needed. No one would see anything else. He would make sure everyone believed the façade and nothing else. It didn't matter what else was going on. Soubi's thoughts, feelings, and wishes didn't matter. All that mattered was Ritsuka and Seimei. Nothing else.

"I won't. I promise. Never again," Soubi's emotions had seemed to change completely around, but in reality, he was still panicked, still seeing the gleaming blood everywhere, and still able to vividly remember Seimei's bright violet eyes.

…

Soubi didn't exactly remember how they ended up like this. It didn't matter, anyways. It was a distraction, something to keep him from remembering Seimei's form in his hospital room. And it worked. He recalled talking to Ritsuka for a few hours, just sitting on his bed and talking with him about nothing important, really. It'd been refreshing, a break from the darkness that Soubi could feel growing inside of him, slowly destroying his mind. And then somehow they'd started kissing, and now Ritsuka had him underneath him, smiling as Soubi's wandering painter's fingers traveled down and across Ritsuka's naked thighs.

Ritsuka's skin was pale, and it shone against the moonlight, almost blue from the moon's light, and so soft against Soubi's fingers. Like a doll, a porcelain doll that was so easy to break. He had to be careful with Ritsuka, so that he wouldn't crack him, even if he himself was beginning to shatter. He couldn't ever remember touching another human in such a way. He was so soft and fragile, so much so that Soubi's fascination was almost completely innocent and non-sexual, a fascination more fit for a tiny child touching the fur of a soft kitten. He'd always been the one touched, and it was never gentle, as this was. It was always hits and slaps or scratches and frantic touching of his body, as if those who were touching him were purposefully reminding him that he was an _object_ to be _owned_, and deserved to be played with roughly.

But Ritsuka wasn't like that. He allowed Soubi's soft touches, letting him run his fingers over his back and down his legs, only suppressing a soft little giggle once they fell upon his bottom and then ran down his sleek, black tail. Never had this been allowed, and Soubi's wonderment was very clearly on his face. Nothing else mattered at this point, not the blood on the sheets or the strange shadow of Seimei Ritsuka had seen. Ritsuka's innocent body had no blood on it. He had scars and marks from his mother and perhaps Seimei or others, but none of that mattered. Ritsuka's body, to Soubi, was devoid of any imperfections except for his own fingers touching it.

"Ah, that tickles!" Ritsuka's voice was the only thing heard, and Soubi really wanted to keep it that way. He wanted to pleasure Ritsuka, to touch him and hold him like he was his doll, to make him moan and whimper in pleasure, and forget about the way Seimei had so desperately wanted to take his ears and had nearly forced him. He didn't want Ritsuka to think about or even remember that. It was a selfish thing, but he wanted to be the center of Ritsuka's thoughts, the only one Ritsuka could possibly think about.

Ritsuka's tail fur was nearly as soft as his skin, and Ritsuka let out something between a laugh and a moan when Soubi touched the base of it. He remembered Ritsuka's body so much smaller, and sometimes, it could be hard to get used to him so much older now. He wasn't twelve anymore. That much as obvious as Ritsuka straddled his hips, leaning over him, almost as tall as Soubi, now. His face was more masculine, and had lost all of its child-likeness. Soubi was nostalgic, but he didn't miss the way Ritsuka had looked five years ago. He liked this Ritsuka. And Ritsuka had never changed much personality-wise.

Ritsuka was gentle with him, as well, and he seemed to know about Soubi's insecurities with sex, and Soubi suspected that someone had told him of his history with it and what had happened. Ritsuka himself was naked, and had let Soubi strip him of any clothes, but Ritsuka himself had only unbuttoned Soubi's shirt and pulled his pants and underwear off, his fingers cautiously dancing over Soubi's scarred, dirtied skin, down and over his chest, brushing kisses on his collarbone and leaving little marks where he'd lightly bitten or sucked. Soubi could think of nothing but Ritsuka, and the distraction was something he'd wanted for weeks now. He needed this. He needed Ritsuka, and he was desperate to get closer, closer to him, like the physical and mental closeness with him would heal him over.

He could both feel and see Ritsuka's hips moving, but whether he was consciously doing it, or if it was just a subconscious action was unknown to Soubi, but it was quite the sight, anyways. He'd never been like this with someone else, being on the bottom, but still in control and able to see what was going on. It was a calming thing, for Ritsuka to treat him like this, like another person. He could see everything from his position, and he liked it, for once. He watched as Ritsuka's hips slid over Soubi's erection, Ritsuka thrusting himself against Soubi as his tail was rubbed, repeatedly pushing his cock against Soubi's stomach, leaving a warm trail of pre-cum across his skin. This was wrong, Soubi knew. Ritsuka deserved someone better than Soubi, someone who's mind wasn't continuously entertained by dark, terrible thoughts. But he couldn't stop, and nor did he want to.

Again, Ritsuka's mouth was on his, the two of them working in what felt to be unison. Ritsuka kissed him hard, not biting or being rough like past people had. Soubi let his eyes close, almost forgetting to breath as Ritsuka's hand brushed against him, as if warning him, before his fingers dipped between Soubi's legs, stroking a few fingers over his hard flesh. He didn't deserve this. He wasn't a virgin, like Ritsuka was. He'd let someone else taint him repeatedly, and there was blood all over his skin, and he was getting it on Ritsuka and he'd just hurt him if he continued like this and didn't control Soubi. He needed to be hit and punished otherwise, Soubi would do terrible things to himself and others. He just couldn't control himself, and he wanted horrible things and he wanted Seimei still, even after everything, and even though he had and wanted Ritsuka, as well.

But he couldn't stop Ritsuka. He couldn't stop Ritsuka from being so gentle and soft, because he didn't want to, no matter what he needed. He _liked _it, and he couldn't stop himself from moaning out Ritsuka's name as his fingers wrapped around his length, his thumb rubbing the leaking head. Everything was wrong. Ritsuka shouldn't be touching him like this. He'd get himself dirty. And Soubi shouldn't be in such a position. He'd rather be put in his place, on his knees, legs spread like the whore he was. He didn't protest, though, because he _liked_ this, as wrong as it was.

"Soubi," Ritsuka smiled again, drawing back from the kiss, but not stopping his hand, even as Soubi's back arched, his mouth open and moans and short gasps spilling from him. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. "I want to lose my ears to you."

No. Wrong. But he said nothing. It wasn't his place to tell Ritsuka yes or no. There was no consent for a Fighter, and no illusion of such, either. A Fighter did what his Sacrifice wanted, with no questions asked whatsoever. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Ritsuka wanted it. Obviously Soubi wanted it to some extent, as well, since he was clearly in a state of arousal. Wrong. But it didn't matter. However wrong this felt, however much Soubi wanted to cry out and tell Ritsuka to stop, there was a part of him that was selfish and begged for Ritsuka to go on, to put him in his place, to _destroy _him.

Soubi answered with yet another smile. He was great and talented at the art of lies and deception. He wondered, for a moment, how Ritsuka would react if he'd told him no. That word was useless. It hadn't mattered to anyone in the past, and it certainly wouldn't matter now. He was a Fighter. He did what was expected and wanted of him.

Ritsuka nodded, as if in confirmation, his grip tight and his pace speeding up quickly, depriving Soubi of both the want and ability to think and feel anything other than the pleasure his Sacrifice was allowing him. There was nothing else. Only Ritsuka, who was giving him the privilege of taking his virginity, and Soubi both wanted it and wanted to stop at the same time.

Wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Wrong!

This was wrong. Everything about it was wrong. It shouldn't be like this. Something, somewhere had gone wrong, and this was the outcome of it. Soubi was supposed to be dead. He couldn't handle the reality, and it wasn't just the reality of this, but of everything—especially the reality that Seimei was going to die. He couldn't face it, and being forced into it after more than a year of being cut off from all human contact in the room Seimei had kept him in made everything now overwhelming.

He let none of that show, though. Ritsuka was nervous. It showed in his eyes, his body language, and he even made a small nervous laugh. Soubi needed to be strong now, just like he'd been when Ritsuka was twelve. That was what Ritsuka wanted. That was what he expected. And anything Ritsuka wanted, Soubi would give him.

Another small moan escaped from Soubi as he lifted Ritsuka's hand off of himself, bringing his slightly smaller hand to his own mouth. Ritsuka seemed to get the hint, though he still looked almost amusingly embarrassed, and pressed his thin fingers against Soubi's lips, leaving his Fighter to immediately wet them and suck on them. Just as he'd been taught, of course. No different. Sensei had taught him well when he'd been a child, hadn't he? He knew what to do. He knew exactly what to do. He remembered clearly, even now, as he stared up into Ritsuka's eyes, keeping solid eye-contact with him as his faithful servant sucked on his fingers, recalling a time when he'd had to do with to a much older man.

He kept smiling, even as he grabbed onto Ritsuka's wrist again, trying his absolute hardest to keep himself relaxed as he guided Ritsuka's hand down and back, spreading his own legs like some type of whore. He felt Ritsuka's fingers fall into place and then begin nervously prodding. He had to be a good boy. He had to be good, or Ritsuka wouldn't want him anymore, and would discard and punish Soubi like Seimei had. He watched Ritsuka's face go from one shade of red to another as he finally pushed a finger inside of him. Relax, he had to relax and be good. For Ritsuka. Everything was for Ritsuka.

"Is this…?"

Soubi nodded silently before Ritsuka could finish his sentence. More than anything, Soubi didn't want to hear the word 'right' from Ritsuka's mouth. He was still such a naïve boy, thinking that he loved Soubi and that it was right to treat him like this. Naïve. And so god damned wrong.

…

"Soubi, no!" Ritsuka's protest was immediate when Soubi got on his hands and knees on the floor in front of Ritsuka. He'd already spoken, telling Ritsuka it would be easier like this, easier on the both of them. In reality, Soubi didn't want to be able to see Ritsuka's eyes, and he wanted to feel the raw, physical feeling of sex, rather than having memories and feelings come crashing back to him. It was better like this. It put Soubi more in his place as a dog. He'd rather be fucked like this than any other way.

He looked back at Ritsuka, a deceiving smile still plastered on his face. "It's alright, Ritsuka. It's alright. It'll be less painful for me this way and easier for you. _Please_."

He didn't know what did it for Ritsuka, whether it was Soubi's reasoning, or the fact that he was willing to _beg_ Ritsuka for it, but Ritsuka nodded, and Soubi let out a sigh of relief that was heard by him and him only. Did he really want this? It was a hard question to ask himself, as his consent had never mattered to anyone. This felt too soon, too fast, and too wrong, and Soubi did want it to stop, and would've given anything to just stop now. But he was enjoying it, as well. He wanted to feel Ritsuka inside of him, claiming him and _making_ him moan his name and give himself to him.

He didn't have a choice, though, and there was something calming about that, especially as he felt the dripping head of Ritsuka's arousal press at him, and Soubi was completely _gone_, and simply a servant to the feeling or Ritsuka shivering and pushing inside of him. It hurt. It hurt so much, even with the preparation. After all, it had been _years_, now, since Soubi had even so much as touched himself. But the hurt was welcome, and something that made Soubi tremble, as well. He deserved this. He deserved everything, and the pain was such a wonderful, sweet stinging pain, and god, did he want more of it.

Soubi pushed back against Ritsuka, feeling him slide in further into him, not knowing if the sounds that filled the room were coming from him or his master, or perhaps both of them. He'd disconnected from reality. The only thing he could understand was that Ritsuka was taking him, claiming him, putting him in his place, for once. Nothing more, nothing less. The only thing he felt was the carpet beneath his hands and knees and Ritsuka sliding in and out of him, painfully slow. Nothing else mattered, and he felt nothing else. He was numb, disconnected, and when Ritsuka's fingers fell upon his hardness again, Soubi clenched his eyes shut, succumbing to the physical feelings he felt and focusing on nothing else.

It didn't take long. It was Ritsuka's first time, and he was still quite young, and Soubi hadn't done anything like this in six or seven years. What set Soubi over the edge, though, was the appearance of Seimei's nature in Ritsuka. His nails raked down Soubi's back and thighs, leaving long red scratch marks. Across and down his skin. Just moments before it got to be too much for Ritsuka, he grabbed onto Soubi's long hair, pulling hard and yanking his head back. _That _was what set Soubi over the edge, that pull on his hair, forcing Soubi's head to go violently back, reminding him that he was a dog and that he was _Ritsuka's _and he was to be owned and treated as a dog. It reminded him of Seimei. It reminded him too much of Seimei, and Soubi was left gasping and panting as he came onto Ritsuka's hand, feeling his master fill him, and be finished to completion by _his _body.

And afterwards, after Soubi had collapsed onto the ground, Ritsuka on top of him, drowsily grinning, Soubi felt even more ashamed than before.

…

"Oh my god, Soubi!"

The exclamation made Soubi visibly startle, since he worried there was something wrong, but he only turned to see Ritsuka in the doorway of the bathroom, looking both startled and fearful. His violet eyes were wide, a hand clamped over his mouth. He wasn't just scared—he was _terrified_. Soubi turned to him, puzzled, having thought Ritsuka was still asleep when he'd left the bed, unable to sleep. He'd taken a shower and had begun caring for the cuts on his back, shoulders, and thighs, cuts from the previous night. Ritsuka's ears were absent from his head, as Soubi immediately noticed, and again, he was reminded yet again of what they'd done, and how wrong it had felt. He couldn't even face Ritsuka, knowing he'd been the one to take those ears from him, and how it should have been someone else, someone better.

"You—Your back!" Ritsuka pointed with a shaking finger at the scratches on Soubi's back, the dried blood that Soubi hadn't quite scrubbed off yet. "I—I did that! I'm sorry, Soubi! I'm so-!"

This time, the smile was genuine, and Ritsuka froze when he saw it, his eyes growing wide in more fear. It was the same smile Soubi had worn upon Ritsuka finding him with the bloodied knife in the kitchen. He pulled Ritsuka into his arms, leaning down to whisper in Ritsuka's ear as his master shook slightly.

"I know, Ritsuka. I know. It's okay. You marked me. It's okay."

…

To: Aoyagi Ritsuka

From: Minami Ritsu

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

Your ears are gone. Was it Soubi-kun?

…

To: Minami Ritsu

From: Aoyagi Ritsuka

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

Wow. Are you _sure_ you're not really a detective?

…

To: Aoyagi Ritsuka

From: Minami Ritsu

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

Don't get snarky with me, Child. Was he a good boy? Do tell me.

…

To: Minami Ritsu

From: Aoyagi Ritsuka

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

You're speaking to me like you think I don't know your past with him. I won't be telling you a thing.

…

To: Aoyagi Ritsuka

From: Minami Ritsu

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

I am your superior, and I demand you stop speaking to me as if I am below you or there will be consequences, Aoyagi. Just like your brother, aren't you?

…

To: Minami Ritsu

From: Aoyagi Ritsuka

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

Stop saying that! I don't want to hear that or anything of the sort! I apologize—I've just been a little stressed out since last night.

…

To: Aoyagi Ritsuka

From: Minami Ritsu

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

Oh? Was Soubi-kun not satisfactory?

…

To: Minami Ritsu

From: Aoyagi Ritsuka

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

I can assure you it was quite the opposite. Actually, there's been a few problems lately that I've been meaning to approach you about. He still complains about seeing blood everywhere, and sometimes he gets really worked up about it and has some kind of panic attack. It's hard to have any kind of a normal conversation with him when he's seeing it. I think it'd be better if you released him from the hospital full time. He seems to be a lot better when he's with me and in my apartment.

…

To: Aoyagi Ritsuka

From: Minami Ritsu

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

While I'm glad to hear that his performance was fully adequate, your other concern worries me. I would take your suggestion into consideration if it weren't for the fact that Soubi-kun hasn't completely healed yet, and his wounds still need to be looked over and whatnot.

…

To: Minami Ritsu

From: Aoyagi Ritsuka

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

Ritsu-Sensei, I don't quite think you're seeing how bad this may be. He came to my room in a panic last night claiming that he saw Seimei in his hospital room.

…

To: Aoyagi Ritsuka

From: Minami Ritsu

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

And how, exactly, did that lead to sex?

…

To: Minami Ritsu

From: Aoyagi Ritsuka

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

Stop it before I march right down there and _force _you to listen to me. I swear to god, Ritsu, I will yell at you so loud, the entire population of Tokyo will be able to hear me. Pay attention to what I'm saying!

…

To: Aoyagi Ritsuka

From: Minami Ritsu

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

Fine. Go on.

…

To: Minami Ritsu

From: Aoyagi Ritsuka

Date: 9/18/12

Message:

While I personally know it was just a hallucination, he wouldn't believe me, and I still don't think he believes it wasn't real. He rarely seems to pay attention to what others say. I've seen him forget things nurses tell him just a minute before. He listens to whatever I say, though. Just no one else. He gets sort of frantic over things, too, and when he does something like cook or draw, it's hard to snap him out of it. Also, I know you've said it's because he was locked in a small room for so long, but he keeps bumping into things when he walks, especially in the hospital rooms and my apartment. Are you sure that's going to get better…?

…

It was two days after Soubi's night with Ritsuka.

"Soubi-kun, stop with this nonsense."

This was getting tedious—these therapy sessions with Soubi. No matter what Ritsu did, whether it was yelling at him, scolding him, trying to be helpful, trying to be kind, giving him the silent treatment, Soubi did nothing. For god's sake, he wouldn't even sit on a chair! He just sat next to the door, his back against the wall, never even saying a single word. Ritsu had even tried affection, and had petted Soubi on the head. The only time he'd gotten even a small response from Soubi was when he'd grabbed onto Soubi's shirt and had tried to force him to his feet, only to be kicked—actually _kicked_—hard, shoving him away and making him fall to the ground.

Needless to say, Ritsu was frustrated. This was their tenth session, and Soubi was showing no signs of showing any improvements. But Ritsu was a stubborn man, who refused to believe that his prized student was dangerous in the least to himself and others. He was stubborn, and he wouldn't believe it until it was too late.

…

Three days.

Sagan Nagisa watched and listened. She listened into the therapy sessions with Soubi and Ritsu, and every day she listened and watched him become more and more frustrated with the boy. Every day, she shook her head in disbelief, wondering how no one else could see that Agatsuma Soubi was slowly descending into madness.

…

Three and a half days.

Soubi laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness. He could feel it surrounding him, slowly consuming him, making him its slave. An intimate presence was gaining control of him, and he could feel it with every breath he breathed and could see it with every splatter of blood he saw on the ceiling, walls, and even his own skin. It originated from Seimei, he knew. Seimei and himself. Seimei confused him. He was going to die, going to be executed by a certain pink-haired former ally. And Soubi couldn't stand that. This bond, the one he had with Seimei—he couldn't live without it. Seimei controlled him, kept him from hurting himself and others. He kept him under a tight leash. In the past years, Seimei had been the only one. Soubi, of course, had been and still was completely in love with Ritsuka, but Seimei had been the only person he'd ever seen.

And even though Seimei had had no use for him, Seimei had still kept him alive. Soubi both hated and loved Seimei for that, and he couldn't figure out which he wanted more—for Seimei to be executed or for him to be kept alive. He didn't know, and it confused him and he hated it.

Why, exactly, did he want to die? It was a question he often asked himself, and he'd come to the conclusion that there was many reasons. For one, it was too much. Reality, pain, suffering—it had all come to a breaking point and Soubi just _couldn't take it_ anymore. It was too much, and it was killing him. It was wrong, everything was wrong. He deserved to die with Seimei. He should die, so that others like Ritsuka could be happy. He was useless, simply causing more harm than good to everyone, unable to even protect naïve Ritsuka. A useless Fighter had no place in the world.

Not even a month ago, he would've down in his little underground room. He wondered—did he miss that? Things had been simple, then, even if Soubi hadn't spoken for months at a time and had been in a constant depression. He didn't have to worry about having two masters back then, and he knew every day that Seimei would come see him, whatever the reason for that was. And every day, without fail, he had seen him. He had nothing to worry about, and after a while, the pain had gone numb, and Soubi had stopped thinking and feeling, his thoughts only entertained by wishes and dreams of being with Ritsuka. He'd been under Seimei's rule, and Seimei had been the only person he needed.

And now, despite being with Ritsuka, the Sacrifice he purely and wholly loved, he felt incomplete and confused. He couldn't be happy. Everything hurt too much, and everything he said or done just made everything worse. He could feel the darkness closing in on him, surrounding him, and slowly taking him over.

He wanted to die. He was depressed, and angry at himself and everyone else. There was no longer any way to help him.

…

Four days.

Blood, blood, blood. It was everywhere, all the same color, all sticky and smelling of rust and pain, and red, so much red. It was everywhere and he couldn't get it off. Blood. Blood. Everywhere. His skin was wrinkled, pruned, and burned from Soubi scrubbing it raw. He had to get it off. He had to. He couldn't let others see him like this. He had to hurry and work harder. Ritsuka was coming to see him. Ritsuka wouldn't want to see someone covered in so much blood and it just would not come off, no matter how hard he tried. He had to try harder, though, or Ritsuka wouldn't want him anymore. He'd discard him. Like Seimei had. Just like Seimei had. He had to get it off of him. He had to…!

Could he cut it off like he'd cut off his scar? Blood, everywhere, staining his skin. He just wanted it off, and it wasn't hard to reach into the cabinet and find a razor. Yes, he could cut it off. He'd grow new skin, like an insect grew back body parts when they were injured. He needed it off. He wanted it off. He was tired of it—tired of fearing that it was Ritsuka's blood, tired of seeing it, tired of it driving him insane.

It made him smile when he drove the blade into his skin, cutting off the unwanted flesh, watching as more blood gushed out. That didn't bother him, though. He was cutting off the bad parts, the parts that had all the blood on them, the dirty parts, and they'd soon be replaced with new parts. It'd be better! Better! No more blood! No more anything! He wouldn't see any of the blood ever again if he could just make himself clean again! Ritsuka would want him. He'd love him more if he did this. Ritsuka would want him to do this.

…

_Medical report: Septimal Moon council private hospital_

_Patient's name: Agatsuma Soubi_

_Examiner's name: Doctor Sagan Nagisa _

_Date: September 21, 2012_

_Condition: (written by examiner) Patient was found by a nurse still in the process of cutting the skin off of his arms. He spoke about seeing the blood and cleansing himself. The nurse reports that the patient seemed completely relaxed and as if he thought that doing this was completely normal. When the nurse tried to stop him and reason with him, he merely smiled and told her it was what his Sacrifice would want for him._

_Diagnoses: The patient is still extremely delusional and hallucinating. _

_Treatment: Until Doctor Minami Ritsu orders him off of the medication, I will be giving him antidepressants and medication that will stabilize his mood. He is to be kept under close watch. It's also notable that the patient responds very well to being with Aoyagi Ritsuka. Agatsuma is not to know he's being put on drugs. It's also a good idea to sedate him for a few days._

_Notes:_

_ There's nothing really worthy to say in this section anymore. The drugs will help him but a certain self-centered, pompous head doctor will order him off of them soon enough. _

* * *

This was actually a prompt someone gave me to write on tumblr. The original prompt was: 'I'd like to read a piece about adult Soubi being in a kneeling position on a sexual occasion.' I'm guessing they were expecting a drabble? And that's what it was originally going to be, if they hadn't asked me to make it a dark story.

Next and final installment on Sunday! Review?

-CheyWolfe


	3. Chapter 3

…

Twelve days.

Ritsuka visited a lot, and the blood disappeared, almost as suddenly as it'd come. Soubi simply awoke one day to find that the walls were white, the ceiling was clear, and Ritsuka's pale white skin was just that. There was no more blood. It was as if Soubi was opening his eyes for the first time in a new sort of world. Ritsuka sat beside him, smiling a pained smile, petting Soubi's hair gently with his hands, running his fingers through the strands. His head felt slightly strange, clouded, almost, but it was alright. He couldn't feel the darkness, and his bond with Seimei wasn't pulling and tugging at him. It was alright. Everything was _actually_ alright.

"The flower garden, Ritsuka," Was the first thing that came from his mouth as he touched Ritsuka's face gently, his fingers sweeping away the strands of hair that fell on his face and tucking them behind his ear. His skin was soft beneath Soubi's touch, and for the first time, Soubi felt as if it was alright to touch him and that it was okay to want to. Ritsuka's expression was confused, a not understanding 'what?' falling from his lips, and Soubi just laughed, just like he used to, when Ritsuka was much younger.

"Let's go to the flower garden, Ritsuka."

…

The flowers in the garden were beautiful things, and Soubi allowed himself to touch them, not even feeling the least bit of regret when one of the petals feel from it.

…

Eleven days.

Soubi liked the feel of being in Ritsuka's arms. He liked resting his head on Ritsuka's chest and falling asleep there. He liked to listen to his heartbeat, and to count them as he fell asleep. He liked the way Ritsuka kissed him, and he liked to kiss Ritsuka back. He paid attention to every detail, every dip and contour of Ritsuka's body, and his smiles were genuine as his hands roamed across him. His thoughts were simply of his love for Ritsuka and how happy he was to be with him, and he called out Ritsuka's name and Ritsuka's name only as Ritsuka took him from behind. Everything seemed perfect, especially when Ritsuka would lean forward and whisper words of love in his ear, all while thrusting into him and giving Soubi the most pleasure he'd ever felt.

And afterwards, when they fell asleep together, Ritsuka would take Soubi into his arms, and let him sleep with his head on his master's chest, falling asleep while listening to his heartbeat. It was alright. He was happy. He was actually happy. The sadness still lingered, but he felt happy and able to enjoy these things.

…

Ten days.

"Why'd you hurt yourself those two times, Soubi?"

"Mm. It's hard to explain, Ritsuka."

There was a gentle hand at his neck, undoing the bandages that covered the injuries that were still healing. A sharp intake of breath—he wasn't used to them being exposed to air.

"Will you try?"

The Sacrifice's hand brushed over the scar tissue, where his servant had cut the markings off of him. His other hand worked through his blonde hair, giving him comfort.

"I'm sorry. I'm not too sure why myself. I don't know whether I was trying to kill myself, punish myself, or just sever the name with Seimei."

"And what about here?"

His master pressed two fingers against Soubi's bandaged forearms.

"There was blood. I thought you'd be happy if I was clean. I was trying to get the blood off. I thought you'd like it if I did." A laugh, as if he thought that was humorous, and right now, it was, because he understood now that Ritsuka didn't want him to hurt. "I'm sorry. I hurt you with what I did."

Ritsuka pressed a gentle kiss to his head, his hair tickling Soubi's cheeks.

"Promise you won't do it again."

"I promise."

…

Nine days.

"Good afternoon, Soubi-kun. Are we going to have another session of you simply ignoring me."

"I can talk. Maybe I just don't want to talk to you."

"How amazing. That's the first word I've gotten out of you since we started therapy."

"Hm. Wipe that stupid smirk off your face."

…

Eight days.

"I love you, Soubi."

"I love you, too. Always, Ritsuka."

…

…

To: Sagan Nagisa

From: Minami Ritsu

Date: 10/18/12

Message:

Take Soubi-kun off of the god damned medication.

…

To: Minami Ritsu

From: Sagan Nagisa

Date: 10/18/12

Message:

No. It's helping him.

…

To: Sagan Nagisa

From: Minami Ritsu

Date: 10/18/12

Message:

It's not helping him or anything of the sort! You're just doping him up and leading him into a false sense of security. I can fix him. He doesn't need any drugs. It's my order to take him off of the medication, and if you don't, I have a reason to fire you.

…

Six days.

The happiness was gone, and with its disappearance, the blood came back. He'd successfully gotten it off of his arms, but the rest of his skin still had it, and the red stained his skin a disgustingly crimson color. Disgusting, and dirty, so dirty. He wanted the rest of it off, but no nurse would even dare leave anything sharp in his room. He couldn't do it. But that wasn't the point. The point was that he would do it. He would if he could. The promise he'd made to Ritsuka was gone, and it meant nothing to him anymore. It didn't matter. All that mattered was pleasing Ritsuka, and pleasing him meant being clean for him, and pretending as if everything was alright. It wasn't anymore. All the happiness he'd felt before—all of it was just gone, and he couldn't even remember what it had felt like.

Ritsuka took him to the garden again that day, and Soubi wouldn't let himself touch any of the flowers or stroke their petals. Keep your hands to yourself, keep your hands to yourself, he kept reminding himself, over and over. His arm brushed a white flower once, and when Ritsuka turned away to talk to someone, Soubi picked it and crushed it under his foot.

…

Five days.

His head hurt. It hurt so god dammed much, and he couldn't stand the pain. Ritsuka wanted to see him. He wanted to see him, and Soubi would give him what he wanted. After all, he was a Fighter, and Fighters gave Sacrifices exactly what they wanted. Soubi wouldn't fail Ritsuka. If he failed Ritsuka, Ritsuka would discard him and stop loving him, and then Soubi would have no one. He couldn't fail Ritsuka. He couldn't be alone again. Alone, alone with all the pain and the blood, with no one to pet his head and tell him he was a good boy. No one. He'd have no one. No one at all. And that was what Soubi feared. He had to please Ritsuka. He had to do it, or Ritsuka would throw him away, just like Seimei had.

The blood was everywhere, and more so than it had been before. Blood, blood, blood—blood down the walls, on his hands, and on the floor he stared down at as he walked through the hallways. Everywhere except for his arms. There was no blood on his arms where he'd cut his own skin off with the razor. It made him want to cut the rest off, to slide the blade underneath his palms and face and body, taking all the old skin off so that he could become something new, something clean and devoid of the blood that plagued him. Something that could please Ritsuka.

Soubi wasn't watching where he was going at all, and he wasn't paying attention in the least, either. His pounding head made it too hard for him to focus on anything or to listen for any sounds of someone coming down the hallway. It was really his own fault that he ran into her, but both of them let out yells of shock when they collided, Soubi being knocked down by the force of running into her much smaller body and knocking what seemed to be about a million books from her arms, all of them clattering to the ground, and her falling to the ground as well.

It took Soubi a minute to gather himself and fully realize what had happened. He didn't stand, he simply sat up, raising his head and meeting _her_ eyes, seeing that she'd already stood back up. They were amber, fierce, just as the day he'd met her for the first time, and she hadn't grown at all, still short and donning childish, fluffy dresses and high, pink pigtails attached to a hat.

Gomon Mikado stood before him, a scowl on her lips, obviously angered by him crashing into her.

Gomon Mikado. Number four.

Executioner.

Five days.

Five days. Five days. Five days. Five days. Five days. Executioner. Five days. Five days. Five days.

Five days.

She was going to kill Seimei in five days. His Sacrifice, the person Soubi was supposed to protect, the person who treated Soubi like he needed to be treated. Five days. Five days. Soubi needed Seimei. He needed his bond. He'd be empty without it, and even more confused and angered and depressed than he already was. Five days. Right now, as he knelt on the floor, staring into amber eyes, Soubi felt absolutely no happiness at the thought of their bond being broken. As he looked up at the executioner, he could feel no sort of joy at the thought of her killing Seimei, removing him permanently from the world, making Soubi alone without the man who'd kept him for years.

He only felt hatred.

Bitter, biting hatred. It made him want to lash out at her, and he could almost see it, his vision coming in and out of focus. He saw her dead beneath him, heard the sound of her tiny body breaking, her voice screaming out. And it brought him great joy. Revenge, for what was to come. She was going to kill Seimei. Five days. Five days. Five days. He had never felt such a lingering, terrible want—no, _need_—to murder someone with his own hands. He… He _needed _Seimei! He needed the way his hands struck him, the way he talked to Soubi in such a demeaning way, the way he punished Soubi by keeping him alive for so long. He loved Ritsuka. He truly did. But Ritsuka deserved someone better, and love wasn't the same as a bond.

His bond with Seimei was everything.

Her lips moved, a harsh order coming from her mouth.

"Pick it up."

Something changed within him again, and he looked from the scattered books to her face again. Oh. He'd knocked them all down. How careless. He nodded, silent, his murderous rage lingering, but gone for the moment, only to be replaced with remorse. He'd taken one look at this girl, and had wanted nothing more than to kill her. And he had no doubt he would've done it if he'd had the proper tools, and if she hadn't spoken. She would've saved this girl, someone who'd helped Ritsuka, and someone who had thus helped him.

He scrambled, hurriedly collecting the books, apologizing franticly, the only words coming from his mouth being 'I'm sorry' over and over and over again, as if he truly thought she'd want to hear it.

"I don't want to hear it, Agatsuma-san," Mikado snapped after a few moments of Soubi's frantic speaking. "Give me my books and I'll be on my way."

He shut up and did as she told him to, not saying another word to her as he gave her the books and watched her walk away.

…

Three days.

He dreamed of murdering Gomon that night. He had to ask one of the nurses if it was real, and she only called Ritsu and told him about how terrified Soubi looked.

…

Ritsuka watched. He watched with cold, violet eyes. After all, he was in the room, but he felt no emotion, not even as he watched the life slip from his only brother, his last words to Seimei being 'You betrayed me.'. He only allowed himself to cry in his room, and even then, it was a quick thing. Nothing more than a quiet bout of crying. He'd long since abandoned his feelings towards his brother. Nothing felt empty. His tears were only tears over losing someone he'd loved, and he'd lost that person over five years before.

…

Report by: Gomon Mikado

Executioner: Gomon Mikado

Date: 10/25/12

Medical examiner: Minami Ritsu

Report:

Aoyagi Seimei is dead. I killed him, and I watched him die before me. There's nothing more to say. He's dead.

…

_Medical report: Septimal Moon council private hospital_

_Patient's name: Agatsuma Soubi_

_Examiner's name: Doctor Sagan Nagisa _

_Date: October 25, 2012_

_Condition: (written by examiner) A nurse reported to have found Agatsuma's room in a mess. Everything was torn up. He appeared to have ripped things apart with his own bare hands. He was found in the corner, pulling at his hair and scratching frantically at his already bleeding skin. He was repeating the same words over and over. _

_Diagnoses: I wish I knew. This is not even an hour after Aoyagi Seimei's death._

_Treatment: He needs to be kept away from others. He needs help. It's not my call, though._

_Notes:_

_ Help him._

…

Dead.

Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.

He felt it the exact moment it happened. It broke. Everything broke. Everything hurt, his head pounding, his chest aching, the scent of the blood that covered everything becoming more and more apparent. Dead. Dead. Seimei was… He was dead. He felt everything break within him, and he knew this was it. This was the end. There was nothing left for him. Seimei was gone, gone, gone, gone, and Soubi was still here, left alive, no matter how much he wanted to die. Beloved. Loveless. He was still both. Or had been. Now he was nothing. He had nothing. Soubi kept hurting himself and everything around him and the pain…

He couldn't take it anymore. The pain. It was just so unbearable, the pain of losing his owner, the pain of being alive, the pain of the past, present, and the future. So much pain. He didn't want to take it anymore. He just wanted it to end. He just wanted everything to end. Why couldn't it? He wasn't a good Fighter. He was bleeding, scratching at his face and hands, breaking his promise to Ritsuka by hurting himself again. He was useless, so useless, and no one wanted him. He was sure of that. Why would they want someone like him? Someone who just hurt everyone else and couldn't live without his master.

Dead. Dead. Dead.

He was a dog, and his master was dead. He was a loyal, good dog, and his master was dead. There was nothing left. Not even Ritsuka could save him at this point. The boy would be so much better off without him, anyways. He hadn't been there for him—hadn't seen Ritsuka graduate elementary school, hadn't seen him grow up, hadn't helped him through his teenage years. He felt so much overwhelming regret over that and so much more that it just wasn't _worth it_. He wanted to die. There wasn't a reason to live.

Dead.

The executioner.

Number four.

Gomon Mikado.

She'd killed him. She'd killed his master. She'd broken the bond. She'd killed Seimei. She'd murdered him. She had murdered him. He was dead, and it was all her fault. Soubi had nothing left because of her.

…

Sensei was angry, and Soubi didn't say anything. He just listened to him yell and rant, just like always. Everything was a blur. It had been since the day of Seimei's death. He'd lost track of time. Ritsu yelled at him, trying to get a reaction, trying to make him say something, but it just wasn't working. He half wanted Ritsu to just punish him, as he had when he was a child, but he wouldn't he just yelled, and it was _loud_, and it hurt Soubi's ears and why why why couldn't it all just stop? It hurt. It all hurt, every word he or anyone else said, even if he couldn't properly understand them. He yelled and screamed at him, calling out his name, calling him terrible things just to elicit a response. He couldn't. Soubi couldn't do anything. He couldn't focus, he couldn't understand, and all he saw was the blood on Sensei's face.

…

Nothing had ever felt as real as the minute Soubi stood on the rooftop.

Never before had he felt as human as when he stood at the edge of the pavement, leaning over the railing, watching. For the first time, he felt human, and he felt _alive_. Those people that moved down there, so far below, patients in the hospital courtyard, doctors going into work, commoners on the street—he was the same as them. He was human, just like them. And yet, he wasn't. He was something different, something horrible. Things may have been over and done with for the most part, but _he_ was still here, still alive, still around, still the same being he'd always been. All the other evil had been exterminated—Akame was dead, Seimei was dead, all the others who'd worked with them were captured, with the mere exclusion of Soubi himself.

But that wasn't true. Soubi was dead, too, and he had been the moment Gomon Mikado had killed Seimei. Perhaps even before that. He remembered how happy he'd been in the flower garden with Ritsuka that day after waking up from cutting the skin off of his arms. He'd been happy. Everything had been alright. Not exactly alright, of course. Soubi had still been saddened by the fact that Seimei was going to die, but the days he'd felt like that, he was able to put that aside and begin to work past it. He'd enjoyed his time with Ritsuka, had believed his words of love, and had made promises to Ritsuka. Why had all that gone away? His heart hurt, and his head felt like it was being split in half. Nothing was alright. The façade was broken. He couldn't even pretend anymore.

_I love you. And I'm sorry. _

He hit the send button on his phone. Ritsuka wouldn't receive it until class was over with. He still had more than an hour.

His mind wasn't clear, nor was it normal, but at least he could properly comprehend things now. Things weren't going by in a blur now. It was all clear, and the blood still spotted everything, but not even that mattered now.

The railing was cold and metal beneath his hands, his skin turning white as he gripped it as if he were holding onto it for dear life, and perhaps he was. The city below remained ever-constant, still moving despite the tyranny and turmoil that had gone on and was still going on. Everything moved along, and it would constantly, even long after today. Everything moved on. The sun still rose and set, and everything would go on. Everything would move on. Everyone would, too—Sensei, Ritsuka, Natsuo and Youji… Everyone would, and everyone would eventually forget him. He was starting to see now why Ritsuka still liked to take pictures.

He swung a leg over the railing, then hoisting himself over to stand in the tiny ledge between the railing and the edge, and he smiled. Soubi smiled, holding on still, with both hands to the cold railing, feeling the wind and a promise of soon to come rain. He no longer wondered and worried about the pain he'd feel once he hit the concrete below, because that would be it. That would be all. There would be nothing after that. He'd be dead. He wouldn't be a burden anymore, and he wouldn't have to think or feel anymore. All he had to do was let go of the railing and fall forward. And he could do it, easily.

He would've, too, if it hadn't been for the fact that his phone vibrated right as he was readying himself to let go.

_I saw your note on my desk. Please make it quick, as I only have a few minutes of free time._

_ -Gomon Mikado._

…

She hadn't been there the first time. She'd been out. Soubi had left a simple little note on her desk, not even sure what he was hoping for. Maybe he'd thought that she'd return before he could do anything. Maybe, and that maybe would have been correct. It was lucky that he had decided to take his time on the roof instead of doing it immediately. And now he could carry out one last thing.

She'd killed him.

Soubi found her in her office, just as she'd indirectly promised though her text. Stupid girl, standing unguarded by her office window, looking out it in almost a childish wonderment. Still a child, just like his Ritsuka. How old was she now? Nineteen? And she still had the appearance of a young girl. Her head, her head. She was so unguarded, and she wasn't expecting a single thing, was she? Her head, just a simple hard blow to the head and it'd all be over with. Her head, her head! He could do it easily and then return to the roof, completely unnoticed. Her Fighter was nowhere near, and Soubi was unable to sense his presence, meaning he was absent from the surrounding area. She had no one to protect her.

He was quiet, so quiet, making no sound as he came up behind her, and her hair was soft, so very, very soft as he pulled it, forcing her back and slamming her head into the window she stared out of. A scream, a bloodcurdling, terrible scream, and a crack, and Soubi wasn't sure if it was her head cracking or the window. His hands hurt as he yanked her back, her hat and wig falling off as the joints in his fingers ached. Again! Again, he forced her forward, into the window again, and this time it _shattered_, glass raining down and knocking Soubi back.

It hurt. It hurt so much. Glass was everywhere and his head hurt, and blood was on everything, and through his blurry vision, he saw Mikado still breathing, slumped down against the wall, amber eyes only half open. She was still alive. No. She had to die. She'd murdered Seimei. She had to die. She had to. She'd killed him…! She'd murdered him in cold blood for her own betrayal and now she was going to die for that! She'd left Soubi with nothing. Absolutely nothing. And she felt no remorse, he knew. No remorse at all.

He struggled to stand, as the glass had pierced him more than Gomon, and his breath was ragged as he tried to. He was hurt, and she obviously was, too. He was honestly surprised she wasn't dead. God, he just wanted to see her blood. He doubted it was red—Seimei's couldn't be, so neither could hers. They were the same, after all, but she'd killed him. And now she had to pay.

Shaking, he went after her again, still with his bare fists, intending to suffocate her. He would've easily gotten her neck and secured his hands around it and snapped if it she hadn't grabbed a nearby umbrella. She held it out in front of her, a short cry coming from her lips, momentarily blocking Soubi from attacking her further with a scream of, "Agatsuma-san!"

He saw it—the fear in her amber eyes, the tone of it in her voice. She was afraid. She was scared. She realized he could kill her, and that _scared_ her. This girl—She was only two years older than Ritsuka, and she'd killed Seimei years and years after holding a grudge against him. Was he really angry at her? He was—he wanted to kill her, after all. But he shouldn't. He shouldn't, he shouldn't, he shouldn't. Dead. Dead. Dead. She'd taken Seimei from him. But Ritsuka wouldn't want this. He wouldn't want Soubi to kill her. He'd be angry. He'd punish him. He'd abandon him. But Seimei would want Soubi to kill her. He'd order it. He needed revenge for Seimei's death. He needed some kind of closure. He needed all of the pain to go away.

Soubi hadn't noticed the point in Mikado's umbrella until it stabbed him in the arm, and even then, he did nothing but stare, looking away from her eyes to look down at the wound she'd inflicted. There was so much blood coming out of it… Was it real? Was this real? What was real? He'd dreamed of murdering Mikado before, and he'd thought the dream had been reality. Was this a dream? Was the blood on his arms real, or was it the fake, imaginary blood no one else seemed to see? He couldn't tell! He wanted to understand, he wanted to so badly. He wanted to understand and make it all go away and just die already. Why had he come here? Why hadn't he just done what he'd intended to do on the rooftop.

There was a click behind him as Soubi pulled the point of the umbrella from his arm. He turned, tossing it aside, and for some reason, what he saw neither surprised nor scared him. A gun. She'd hidden a gun in her desk drawer. That was obviously where she'd gotten it from, as he could clearly see that it was open. A gun. She held it, shakily standing up, pointed straight at him. Despite her own injuries, she held it steadily, the fear gone from her face.

"Give it up, Agatsuma-san."

For a moment, he just stared, and then his expression turned into a scowl. She was going to kill him. He struggled to his feet, shaking and bleeding, or maybe not bleeding. He couldn't tell. There was only pain. Nothing else. So much pain.

"Give me the gun," A smile, sweet almost. He wanted it. He could kill her and then himself. It'd be that easy. So easy! Her head, her head. He could kill her with a simple bullet through her head. That would be it. So simple. But no. She shook her head, making a mistake by taking a step forward to better aim at him. He watched her take in a breath and seem to squint, and then it took every morsel of control for Soubi to step forward and hit her. His hand connected with her face, her finger pulling the trigger at last minute, the gun going off, missing Soubi completely. She let go of it, having been knocked back into her desk.

"Agatsuma-san! Put it down!" Was she crying? His aim was shaking, and he couldn't hold the damned thing straight and blood, so much blood. He couldn't see, and could barely make out her face amidst all the blood and blurriness and everything was moving slow again and…

_He _was crying. He felt it, the wet stickiness on his cheeks, running down to the corners of his mouth and dripping past his chin. He cried. Agatsuma Soubi cried for the first time in years, in front of a little girl he wanted to kill. He couldn't take it. Nothing could help him. Many people could've, including Ritsu, Nagisa, and Ritsuka, but they didn't. After all, Agatsuma Soubi had put on the perfect façade of being completely alright. The mask was broken now, though, and he _cried_.

And Gomon Mikado could only stare in momentary horror as the gun went off.

…

_Death report: Septimal Moon council private hospital_

_Examiner: Sagan Nagisa_

_Date of death: 11/23/12_

_Patient: Agatsuma Soubi_

_Cause of death: Suicide. Agatsuma attacked council member Gomon Mikado, forcefully took the gun from her, pointed it at her, and then pointed it at his head and shot himself. _

…

Ritsuka ran, his feet carrying fast until he was finally able to catch up to the man with long blonde hair walking in front of him. His college schoolbag banged against his legs, and he reached out a hand, his eyes filling with childish tears as he grabbed onto his arm, the unsuspecting man turning around to look at him, glaring at him. Ritsuka let go. How stupid he'd been. To think this could have really been him—

"I—I'm so sorry," He stuttered, backing off from him, looking behind him. "It's just… You look like someone I once knew."

* * *

The end.

Reviews?

-CheyWolfe


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